I want to share a story with you about The Secret of the Golden Flower. How I came across it, the journey it took me on and something of what I learnt along the way.
The Secret of the Golden Flower
Reply
Common Dream Archetypes
This is a Guest Post by Patricia Duggan. She has a Masters in Psychology and has been practicing for 11 years. She maintains the site Psychology Degree. She writes about various subjects within the psychology field.
Carl Jung believed that dreams had their own language.
The things we see in our dreams are not signs that represent one specific idea, but rather fluid images to which we ascribe meaning based on our individual experiences. Dreams may reveal truths, philosophical revelations, illusions, fantasies, memoires, plans, irrational experiences or even prophetic visions.
The images in our dreams are ultimately representations of our own unconscious. Although they come from our individual minds, many images are manifestations of universal archetypes that represent unconscious attitudes hidden to our conscious selves. If we take the time to learn about these archetypes and identify them in our own dreams, we have the possibility of increasing our awareness of our inner selves, thereby integrating the disparate parts of our psyche to achieve a holistic self.
Jung enumerated four main archetypes:
1. The Self
This is the ultimate center of the psyche, representing the unification of the conscious and unconscious selves (which Jung called individuation).
2. The Shadow
This archetype represents the deeper elements of our psyche that we often deny and project onto others. The Shadow may appear in our dreams as a bad or fearsome figure who threatens or betrays us. It is dark, unknown, wild, troubling, and perhaps disturbingly fascinating. Encounters with it may reveal some of our deeper thoughts and fears.
3. The Anima/Animus
The anima represents the female image and soul of a male psyche, while the animus represents the male image and soul of a female psyche. We can communicate with the unconscious by way of the anima/animus, because it is our true self. This image may appear exotic or unusual in some way, perhaps possessing extraordinary skills and powers like those of a god or superhero. Jung theorized that the creation of the anima begins in infancy when a child projects himself onto the parent of the opposite sex.While men usually have one dominant anima, Jung found that a woman’s animus is often more complex with several parts.
4. The Persona
This is the way in which we present ourselves to the world, or the social mask of our inner selves. The persona opposes the Shadow.
While these archetypes can take on numerous forms in our dreams, Jung noted that there are several archetypal images that commonly occur in most cultures. It is important to note, however, that the context in which these images appear is just as important as the image itself, as it may lend to a specific personal connotation and meaning.
The Divine Child ‘ This archetype is usually considered to be a symbol of the true self. It can also represent a sense of potential or vulnerability and hold the power of rebirth and transformation.
The Wise Old Man/Woman ‘ This image can represent the self after it no longer identifies with its anima/animus. It represents wisdom, guidance, and power. It may also be a representation of the Collective Unconscious.
The Great Mother ‘ She may appear in two forms: nurturer or witch. The nurturing side often appears as our own mothers or grandmothers offering comfort. The witch brings destruction and death through domination or seduction. Our personal relationship with our mothers can have a profound impact on how this figure appears in our dreams.
Trickster ‘ The trickster is a figure that creates trouble. He often appears as a wise fool who may or may not have powers. He can be a catalyst to point out the flaws and destroy a system while he remains untouched. He causes us to question but may also trick us into doing the wrong thing. He may appear in a dream when we are uncertain about a decision we must make or when we are feeling vulnerable.
Jung felt that archetypes most commonly appeared in dreams at decisive ages in our life.
These dreams, called ‘big dreams’ or ‘grand dreams,’ can be transformative and help us to achieve unity of self if we can learn to interpret them.
When we interpret dreams, one of the most important steps is to move from an objective approach, in which we consider everything for what it is (your mother represents your mother), to a subjective approach, in which every image represents an aspect of the self. In this case, your mother could be your anima or a personification of your desire to nurture others. Through the subjective approach, you will learn to recognize aspects of your inner self that were previously unacknowledged.
Patricia Duggan has a Masters in Psychology and has been practicing for 11 years. She maintains the site Psychology Degree. She writes about various subjects within the psychology field.
What lies beneath
Stephen was (as usual) explaining a philosophical concept to me. Thank God for him, else I would be a total ignoramus.
The Hard Problem of Consciousness in The Philosophy of Mind is this. You can explain in molecular detail the chemical composition of Coca Cola, but you cannot explain what it is like to drink it. This is the problem ‘ we can’t explain what it is like to have an experience, whether it is listening to music, tasting chocolate mousse, riding in a train or being in love.
The only way to truly know is to have the experience.
The next day I was driving along listening to a song, which was very romantic.
The singer crooned:
And I can’t explain
But it’s something about the way you look tonight
Takes my breath away
It’s that feeling I get about you, deep inside
With a smile
You pull the deepest secrets from my heart
In all honesty
I’m speechless and I don’t know where to start
Well, having the the previous evening’s discussion on my mind, I thought that the singer is actually describing being in love quite clearly. Then I realised that it was Sir Elton John singing and I dread telling you what popped into my head next, but for the purposes of this blog, I feel it is really important. I thought, hey, but he is gay, how would he know?
Oh my G… Did I just think that?
I was so utterly shocked at myself!
And this is a great example of how the personal unconscious controls us.
WHAT IS THE PERSONAL UNCONSCIOUS?
Jung split the psyche into 3 levels, namely Consciousness which is everything you ‘know’, the Personal Unconscious and the Collective Unconscious (the collective of all human experience).
The Personal Unconscious lies beneath your consciousness and consists of your experiences, memories, etc. that you have ‘forgotten’. As well as deas, thoughts and desires that have never become conscious.
Forgotten, but not without considerable control over you.
All your beliefs and attitudes are based on what lies in here. But it is not called the Personal Unconscious for nothing, it is unconscious and hence you are not directly aware of them.
From my example about love, you can imagine how I got this idea into my head (sorry dad, but you are homophobic!). Of course, the actual events when this attitude was expressed in conversation around me (not at me because I was a little girl), has been long forgotten. But it stuck and as a child you automatically accept your parents and peers opinions as correct.
Now my parents have a gay couple as one of their best friends, but my dad still does not buy into the reality that they are a couple. He believes that they are just ‘friends’ sharing an apartment for the last 15 years.
My mother just rolls her eyes.
Just imagine for example, the things you were told directly from someone you held in regard and loved. You accepted it as the truth, not questioning it and it slipped into your personal unconscious where it still lies ‘ an unconscious rule book. And what about those childhood resolutions e.g., I will NEVER trust anyone again. Don’t you think that still has a profound impact on you?
Hence, all parents out there, watch what you say in front of your children or when they are around! We have a profound impact on our children and the way they view the world.
THE SHOCKING TRUTH
Now you are an adult. Do you think you are aware of all the things you were ‘taught’ as a child? Not only from your family, but your teachers, your peers, your town, your church, etc.
Do you think you are true to yourself and that you have changed all those archaic ideas from your upbringing?
Do you really believe that you are not carrying inauthentic ideals within your psyche?
Do you think that you do not carry those unconscious belief systems over to your children?
I think you can guess the answer to all that.
Just imagine all these years, I have carried around this unconscious attitude towards homosexuals and their relationships. Not really believing that they have found ‘love’ in their romantic relationships. So my attitude has been one of pity.
Consciously I believed myself to be non judgemental and totally inclusive and accepting. I am sure anyone who is gay has probably sensed my attitude and felt judged in some way. Because unfortunately, you can’t hide these deep rooted attitudes, they are tangible to others. Others can’t necessarily tell exactly what you think, but they sense that your attitude or behaviour is not authentic. You are usually the only one not aware of the vibes you put out there.
THE SOLUTION
Well, the only way to change unconscious content is to become conscious of it. This usually happens as an adult. You leave your insulated little environment at home and enter the ‘real’ world and get confronted with situations which hopefully cause you to question your beliefs.
Or you have an ah-haa moment where you catch yourself thinking or saying things that are not what you believe.
But ultimately, unless you realise that you hold a specific attitude towards something, you are not going to be able to change it.
Once it is conscious, you can look at it and ask yourself:
‘ Do I really believe this?
‘ Is this approach right for me?
‘ What should I believe?
‘ What is the correct attitude towards this?
Only in consciousness can you change things.
A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
If you haven’t already, read the post The essential guide to the secret life of Complexes. Complexes are a sure way of identifying unconscious content and that blog has a great how to section in it.
Until next time
Anja
The Great Lie
Do you believe a man can escape his destiny?
I believe a man does everything he can until his destiny is revealed to him.
Nathan Algren, The Last Samurai.
As long as I live I will never forget the line or the sentiment. I believe it expresses something profoundly important about living authentically and with courage.
I want to share with you a small part of what it takes to ‘do everything you can until your destiny is revealed to you,’ and why it is worth doing.
Consider…
In the not too distant future you are going to die.
Let us imagine the scene for a moment. A funeral of some sort, flowers ‘usually not the prettiest, funeral wreaths rarely are, a few words of comfort to those you have left behind spoken by some religious representative- probably someone you have never met before, and then a tearful eulogy by a friend or family member.
They will either bury or cremate your corpse.
Dust to dust as they say…
And then it will all be over; at least for you.
The rest of us will carry on alright, we may think of you or a kind word may be said in your memory (or not so kind ). Life will go on, the world will keep turning. The only difference being you will no longer be around.
Why do I share this somewhat macabre and slightly depressing, although it must be conceded all too true, image, with you, you ask?
I share it with you not to distress you, although it is distressing, but because I want to encourage you to see through the veil of illusion. Only when you tear from your eyes the illusion- that everything is alright, that you needn’t become distressed, that this story has a happy ending, is it possible to truly live.
It has been said (I forget by whom) that the only way we can live is in denial of death. I suggest the opposite; the only way you can live is in the full awareness of your death. And it is imminent, whether it happens today, tomorrow (both possible naturally) or sixty years from now.
Carpe diem my friend, carpe diem.
‘So what?’, you might ask, ‘How does knowing this change the way I live my life? How can I be more faithful to myself, live more truly, sincerely, passionately and fully than I already am?’
Well you are in a better position to answer that question than I am, seeing as it is your life. However I will make one suggestion.
Stop believing the great lie!
What is the great lie?
The great lie is what you hear every day when you listen to your colleagues, when you chat to your friends, when you listen to the car radio or sit in front of the TV having supper with your spouse, listening to them telling you what you should do, what you should think and what your life should look like.
The great lie is what you see every time you turn on the television, surf the web, read the newspaper or page through a glossy magazine. And you are informed about the ‘way things are’, what the future holds in store, where the world is going, and why you absolutely must have the latest fashions.
The great lie is when people tell you, ‘you are not being reasonable’, that there is an accepted norm for behaviour and you are not conforming to it, more than that, that there is a normal way of thinking and being in the world and you are not being that, or are somehow less than that…
The great lie is that
You need to be educated, get educated or are educated,
You need to get a job, or do your job, or be your job,
You need to get married, stay married or be married.
You need to get ahead,
Have children,
Save money,
Go on holiday,
Donate to charity,
Become spiritual,
Save the environment,
Wash the dishes,
Mow the lawn,
Grow old,
Go to church,
Be good,
Take out insurance,
The great lie is that you life is a limited enterprise.
The great lie is that your time is best spent in a specific way doing what others have decided for you, in advance, without your explicit consent.
The great lie is that others know better than you and can show you ‘the way’. My dear friend these others are just as lost as you, just as afraid and just as confused. But something they figured out was that by telling you they know, they are able to manipulate you, to recruit you and to engage you in their projects. Possibly you are familiar with this little trick and use it yourself to some effect…
A litany of ideas, concepts, morals and mores are recruited to make you comply, too many to list. Generally speaking though, they work by telling you how you should think, behave and be in the world, both publically and privately.
Is there a meaningful alternative to submitting to this manipulation?
What are your alternatives?
Is there any way to escape this ubiquitous manipulation short of moving to the proverbial dessert island, or living in a cave? And after all, does one not have to comply to a greater of lesser extent in order to simply survive in society?
I concede that these are not easy questions with simple answers.
What I do believe though is firstly, you should not let the bastards grind you down .
And secondly, there is a meaningful alternative to believing the great lie. In fact not only do I believe this, but we have fairly irrefutable proof of another way of being. Let us consider for a moment a few people who didn’t buy into the great lie.
Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela the first president of a democratic South Africa, Nobel Peace Prize Winner, awarded over 250 peace and humanitarian prizes, one of the greatest humanitarian figures of the 20th century and the principle reason South Africa made the transition to a democracy in 1994 without a bloody revolution.
Mandela (or Madiba as we call him ) didn’t believe the lie that a black man was somehow inferior to a white man or less deserving of the same basic human rights. For not accepting the lie he nearly paid the ultimate price- his life. As it turned out he changed the future of fifty million people in a single generation.
Albert Einstein the greatest scientist of the 20th century and contender for one of the greatest minds ever who single handedly changed the face of modern physics. He didn’t believe the lie that space and time were absolutely objective conditions of the cosmos. He resisted this lie in the face of rather convincing intuitive and empirical evidence to the contrary.
Jane Austen author of Pride and Prejudice, Mansfield Park and Emma, among others, who went on to become one of the most widely acclaimed and read authors in English literature. Ms. Austen never believed the lie that woman were not meant for great things in the world and that it was best left to their far more capable husbands. She believed in herself and her talent at a time when for a woman to be a ‘serious writer’ was considered a ludicrous idea.
Ludwig van Beethoven, arguably the greatest musical composer of all time who never believed the lie that a deaf man could not compose music.
The list goes on, Sir Isaac Newton, Emily Bronte, Vincent van Gogh, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Sigmund Freud, Rene Descartes, Karl Marx, Alexander the Great, Florence Nightingale, Mother Theresa, Joan of Arc.
What all of these people had in common was an abiding faith in their inner genius in the face of other’s telling them that they couldn’t, shouldn’t or wouldn’t be able to accomplish what they set out to.
I believe you too have the right to decide what you are capable of.
I believe that you have the right to decide what is right and what is wrong for you, to make your own choices and even your own mistakes. I believe this is your inalienable right as a human being. You can and should choose your life path. It is your life that is on the line, not mine or anyone else’s.
I believe you have the capacity for love, compassion, kindness and beauty. I don’t believe you need anyone (including me) to teach you these things. Only that you need to see through some stuff that may have led you to imagine that you are anything less than this.
I believe you should live as you were born to live, proud and free. Stand tall and live a life that is a testament to your divinity and humanity. A life that shouts out at the world, at the cosmos and the great unknown- this is me, I choose life, courage, hope, joy and freedom! And I do this in the face of all the uncertainty, challenges, resistance and hardship that life brings along with its great gift.
I believe that you should muster every resource at your disposal, mount your own shoulders in the absence of a ladder, and imagine with all your heart a bigger dream for yourself than the one you have been sold.
I believe you should not allow the great lie to stop you from realising your destiny.
That is what I believe, what do you believe?
Namaste,
Stephen
A Guide to The Secret Life of Complexes
Do you ever behave in a manner which leaves you wondering what the hell you were thinking?
Something came over you? You were possessed?
You are not the master of your own house.
You must have had that experience where the wrong thing pops out of your mouth and you are so embarrassed that you wish the earth would open up and swallow you. Or you lose it and scream like a banshee at someone. Or you are confronted with a dilemma and even after careful consideration, you behave in a manner which you thought would have a specific result, but it backfires and a completely different (unpleasant) result occurs.
The above are all good examples of how a complex can usurp the ego. A complex or neurosis can manipulate you this way.
WHAT IS A COMPLEX ANYWAY?
Jung initially referred to his psychological system as ‘Complex psychology’.
When he started out as a young pioneer in the field of psychology, he invented the Word Associated Test. Through reading 100 words to his patients and asking them to respond quickly, he realised that certain words brought about a slip of the tongue, or emotional response which then identified unconscious feelings or beliefs. These he later termed ‘complexes’. A “complex” meaning a personal, unconscious, cluster of emotions, memories, perceptions, and wishes organized around a common theme, e.g. an artistic complex. You can imagine your own artistic complex and how that affects your relationship with your own creativity and other’s creativity. It contains emotions, memories and ideals.
A neurosis is an unconscious complex that usurps executive control from the ego. Let’s take for example the artistic complex again. If you had a horrible art teacher who ridiculed your art and told you that you are useless, your relationship with your artistic complex could be neurotic. This could present itself in many ways as an adult. You may limit yourself unconsciously because of it. You may find yourself shut down whenever you are confronted with a situation where you have to be creative, or your child shows an interest in the arts and you completely ruin it for them by dismissing it. You may project irritation and irresponsibility onto people who pursue arts.
‘The complex is not under the control of the will and for this reason it possesses the quality of psychic autonomy. Its autonomy consists in its power to manifest itself independently of the will and even in direct opposition to conscious tendencies.’ (C.G. Jung.The practice of psychotherapy, CW 16)
THE OSMOSIS OF COMPLEXES
I decided to go on a fruit fast. Every year I have to do it, just to break my addiction with food.
When I was young, I had no interest in food. I often used to say to people that I would prefer popping a tablet, because eating is just a waste of time. I did not enjoy food and certainly never craved anything. I ate when I was hungry and what I felt like. I was in touch with my body and its needs. I was thin and healthy.
Now I have no idea what my body needs to eat, I only know what I would like to eat!
My eating complex used to be healthy, now it is neurotic. How did this happen?
It transferred onto me from Stephen. Ask any Leb and they will say, most people eat to live, the Lebs live to eat!
It is the secret life of complexes. They transfer and are contagious!
THE DANGER OF COMPLEXES
You must have heard how life coaches often say that you need to surround yourself with people who are positive. Negative people bring you down. They don’t only bring you down, you pick up their negativity. Their complexes that define their relationships or work ethic, etc. can rub off on you. Be careful!
Or you must have heard it said that if you want to be wealthy, surround yourself with wealthy people. Same reason, the wealth complex can transfer onto you.
Be careful who you sleep with, never mind STD’s, their complexes can transfer as well.
The real danger of complexes is that they need energy and you only have so much to go around. Complexes, especially neurotic ones, can bleed you dry. They are like monsters sitting on your shoulder feeding off your neurosis. Someone upsets you, the next thing you are furious, thinking about all the times that person upset you, and it escalates from there. The monster feeds off the images, memories and emotions. And it will create situations to keep it alive. The unconscious complex will take possession of the ego and make it behave in a manner that brings about the result which it needs to feed on.
SO HOW DO YOU RECOGNISE YOUR COMPLEXES?
And don’t think that were not standing in the line when they were handed out. We all have them.
Do any of the following ring true for you:
‘ You just don’t like someone that works with you (or a family member)
‘ You really liked someone a lot and then they disappointed you
‘ You can’t stand a specific organisation
‘ The same unpleasant experiences recur ‘ you don’t know why this always happens to you
‘ You know you are doing something that is not good for you but you can’t stop
We knew someone that just could not accept this concept.
She had projected an immense dislike onto a colleague that was dishonest. The colleague stole things from the company and loafed around at work. Our friend could not accept that she projected her ‘dishonesty’ onto the colleague. According to her, she was certainly not a thief or dishonest. However, afterwards during a disagreement some very unpleasant behaviour surfaced. When confronted, she blankly denied that she had said and done certain things and her behaviour was quite obviously dishonest. She could not recognise it in herself though, and I am sure that the actions that I called lying and deception was from her perspective rationally explained.
Seeing your own behaviour objectively is incredibly difficult. The mind has a way of justifying behaviour which suits ourselves and is often not objective.
In trying to see what your unconscious complexes are there are few things you can do to bring them to consciousness, namely:
‘ Listen to criticism ‘it is often true
‘ Dream work ‘ your dreams are objective
‘ Look at your emotional reactions to others and become cognisant of what you project onto them.
IS THERE A CURE?
Complexes are like cards in a deck. You have to shuffle them around to get the best hand for you. But, you can’t dump a card.
Unfortunately complexes are not like a tooth that you can extract. You have to find the right expression for it, or if it is totally unacceptable, oppose it.
But don’t think it ever goes away.
If you are a sadist, don’t be sadistic to your family or colleagues, but rather become a dentist or a surgeon and channel it this way. We knew a sadist who did this and he is a phenomenal surgeon. Once he removed a mole for me as a favour and did a better job than the plastic surgeon.
The only way to get neurotic complexes under control is to make them conscious, so that you can express them in an appropriate manner. Jung said that if it is unconscious, it is against you.
‘A complex becomes pathological only when we think we have not got it.’ (C.G. Jung. The practice of psychotherapy, CW 16)
If you enjoyed this blog and would like some more information on this topic read Stephen’s post The Irrational Psyche and the Shadow.
Food for thought!
Until next time.
Anja
What does the Perfect Life Look Like Today?
Anja was listening to radio 702 the other day (isn’t she always). Anyway she told me about a caller to the show, who said, the problem with the youth today is that they no longer have role models. Or, if they do, their role models are less than ‘ideal’.
The caller went on to say that in yesteryear the ideal profession was to become a doctor or a lawyer (I would add chartered accountant to that list), but these lofty professions no longer hold the same appeal for the kids of today.
The imagery of the youth today is principally based on MTV and was perfectly summed up by Robbie Williams a few years ago, when he received the coveted ‘Moon-Man’. Robbie said something along these lines:
‘I have mansions in LA and London, drive a million dollar sports car and have a supermodel girlfriend. Thank you MTV- I am living the dream!‘
Then beyond the kids themselves, even their parent’s aspirations for them have changed. Whereas before the dream of every parent was for their kid to grow up and become a professional in one of these classical genres medicine, law, finance or a little further down the ladder, possibly, an engineer or architect. That no longer seems to be the case. Parents have changed their dreams for their kids as well.
Something has shifted. We no longer want the same things we wanted a generation ago.
Okay so far so good. The question is what is ideal today? What constitutes:
the ‘perfect life’,
the ‘perfect job’
and the ‘perfect relationship’?
What has changed? What do we value today higher than social, financial and professional status? Or is it not the desire for status that has changed but rather that which confers status?
Well the truth is it is probably a little of both. Status itself, in the traditional sense, is no longer the holy grail of yesteryear and that which confers status has shifted as well. But I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest the real shift is from wanting status to wanting something fundamentally different.
What do we want today if not status?
Today everyone wants meaning.
This is the new ideal.
To lead a meaningful life, to make a meaningful contribution to others, to have meaningful experiences, to go on meaningful holidays, have meaningful relationships, and possibly even to understand the very meaning of life itself.
Today meaning is more important than status.
The bloody thing of it though is that meaning is no gimme, no patsy, no glass jawed opponent. Trying to lead a meaningful life is tough.
Status itself was never easy. Some had it, some were born into it and some fought tooth and nail for it. Not everyone achieved it of course, if it was open to all it would negate itself. To mean something it necessarily had to be an exclusive club. Still I would wager those that achieved it knew they had, and far more importantly others recognised it. One could say it was the very recognition of the other that constituted the sought for status.
Not so with meaning. Meaning is not something that can be conferred by another upon you. That is more of a problem than maybe it appears at first. You see naturally we are social beings and in being social beings we develop our sense of identity through our interaction with others. Others tell us who we are much more than we come to that idea through any inner process. Even when we introspect on who we are, we are thinking about who we are in relation to other people.
How do other people treat me? How do they make me feel? Who do others think I am?
These are the kinds of questions that go through our minds when we look ‘inside’ and ask the question- who am I? Think about it next time you reflect on your sense of identity and I bet you’ll notice just what I have suggested.
You are who you are because I tell you who you are. You didn’t come up with your sense of identity on your own!
But here’s the kicker…
Is your life meaningful because someone tells you it is?
It may make you feel a sense of wellbeing when I, or someone else, tells you your life is meaningful. But that is not sufficient to truly make your life meaningful.
Think about it for a moment. Meaning, real meaning, is something that of necessity:
- Can only emerge from within in you.
- Can only be experienced by you
Meaning is an inner value judgement, much as status is an external one. That is to say I can confer status on you but not meaning. Only you can confer meaning upon yourself. Only the meaning you find in your life matters, not the meaning someone else sees for you.
So how do you access this meaning?
I’m not sure. I think it’s a tricky question. I have a few ideas I will share with you ‘ but for God’s sake don’t confuse these for the roil hoil truth.
It may be easier to approach this question by considering what doesn’t confer meaning; that which is often mistakenly believed to confer meaning. Well here are some obvious candidates:
- Possessions.
- Wealth
- Professional or social status
Remember these confer status not meaning 
.
What about:
- Having a good time.
- Enjoying life.
- Taking it easy
- Going on holiday.
- Living a life in service of the great me!
Or
- Being a ‘good person’.
- Helping others.
- Doing charitable work.
- An important job for the community at large.
Or
- Your talents.
- What you know.
- What you have done, what you have experienced?
Still not convinced (!)….okay what about:
- Becoming a member of the New Age!
- Joining a mediation group.
- Doing yoga.
- Use alternative medicine.
- Hydroponic farming.
- Going to an Ashram in India, or even better buying a book on Osho from Exclusive Books
- Becoming a vegetarian.
- Building or converting your house into an echo friendly house. Going green as they say, come on, going green! That surely has got to be meaningful!
What do you think? Do these confer meaning?
I would wager that quite a few on that last list constitute what is considered ideal today. The ideal person today, as we said, leads a ‘meaningful life’.
But what the hell does ‘meaningful’ mean?
We could say that the zeitgeist today suggests being an androgynous, vegan, conscientious abstainer from political activity or traditional religion, non sexist, non racist, non fascist, spiritually enlightened, Tantric practitioner, pseudo easterner, non materialist of moderate habits who consciously works at saving the planet whilst still looking good in the process- may not be too far from the mark.
Still the problem remains that may be what ‘meaningful’ looks like in the world, but is it actually meaningful for those that are living one or other version of that contemporary ideal type?
I come back to the point; meaning is an experience not a badge. Looking like you are leading a meaningful life is not the same as actually living one. It’s easy to get confused on this point but try not to. It’s important; this is your life we’re talking about here after all.
Giegerich suggests that the very search for meaning is of necessity doomed to failure. That to search for meaning is not to find meaning. That our removal from meaning, our disenchantment in modernity is what has led to the ‘search for meaning’.
The very essence of modernity is meaninglessness. A meaninglessness that is expressed in the search for and aspiration to meaning. I suspect that Giegerich is onto something (he usually is ). But one must look not only at what he is saying but what he is not saying.
What is the meaning of meaninglessness? Where does the search for meaning lead us to if not meaning itself?
What is the true ideal we are all in search of?
Well as I said earlier I don’t know but I think it is a worthwhile question. One worth considering in the personal sense.
What is the true ideal you are in search of?
It is the kind of question that has the potential to lead you away from ignorance and unconsciousness into a more conscious way of being. You have based your life on certain ideals whether or not you are consciousness of this. Becoming conscious of these ideals offers liberation from the bondage of unconscious compulsion.
Until we talk again,
Stephen
How do you recognize your destiny?
I don’t know about you, but when I hear the word ‘Destiny’, it completely intimidates me.
What? Am I supposed to save the world or sacrifice myself?
I remember as a small child in Sunday school being totally freaked out by the minister. He said ‘God has already ordained your destiny and when he calls you, you must answer, because not answering will render your life useless! You will never succeed at anything else but God’s will.’ Hectic!
This had a profound impact on me ‘ would God call me to do something that I didn’t want to do? (like becoming a nun, even though I wasn’t Catholic! )
Bottom line is that my relationship with the idea of Destiny is not a good one.
How does one start to even imagine your destiny. How I envy people who seem to have been born knowing exactly what they want to be one day. Or people with natural talent and ability ‘ their destiny just unfolds in front of them.
How do you recognize destiny when it presents itself? Which opportunity that comes your way will unlock your destiny. How do you know which of your talents are supposed to unlock your destiny?
What must the impact of your destiny be on the world? Does destiny require enormous talent, or passion, or dedication?
I have thought about it at length, but I don’t know’.
For years I have been searching for this thing ‘ this destiny or passion that I am supposed to find and it would make me express myself and become someone who makes a difference. But I have no idea how to go about it.
What about passion?
Yip, doesn’t that irritate you? It bugs me badly when I hear people talking about passion. Oh, just follow your passion and your destiny will unfold! Or, don’t focus on making money, just follow your passion and money will realize itself! And so it carries on’
What is passion anyway? How passionate do you have to get about something to realize that it is passion you are feeling? Does it have to border on fanaticism to be passion? Should the fervor sweep you away, compel you to act?
Well, for me personally, I still haven’t figured out what my passion is, so if someone could let me know and then I can just pursue it and everything else will fall into place ‘
And then there is also the small matter of meaning
You create the meaning in your life. But for the purposes of this post, let’s look at meaning from a different angle.
Do you add meaning to the world?
I think that this is a requirement to fulfilling your destiny. So how do you add meaning to others? Do you add meaning to humanity? Do you add meaning to your environment? Are you doing this out of love and/or care or are you sacrificing yourself to give meaning. Is sacrifice a pre-requisite to adding meaning? Can you be happy in adding meaning or is it a serious pursuit?
So how exactly do you get onto the path that leads to your destiny?
An epiphany:
Stephen and I, inspired by the 30 day challenge, decided to do something cool every Thursday when we go on our date night.
So last Thursday we went to Tanz caf’ to watch Wonderboom. I didn’t know anything about Wonderboom, except that they’ve been around for a while. I wasn’t even sure what type of music they played, but we were going for different experiences and so I bit the bullet and booked.
They blew us away ‘ what an incredible performance!
Masters of their art. We were riveted, mesmerized and swept away by their absolute passion, skill and slick performance.
Whilst I was watching Wonderboom do their thing on stage, I was filled with envy and fascination. After we got home, I started thinking about what it was that they symbolized for me. Why were they able to affect me so profoundly?
These guys were completely present. They were 100% engaged in what they were doing. There were no hidden agendas, insecurities or doubt. Then it dawned on me’
They are living their destiny.
They are totally authentic and real. They embodied what I aspire to. A place where I am comfortable, unique, magical. Where passion and meaning are combined into an energy that profoundly impacts on others.
And perhaps the key to this place is in being in the moment. When you are swept away by what you engage in and totally there, totally real ‘ perhaps that is the way to your destiny.
Then I started thinking about the things that make me feel engaged and in the moment.
When Stephen and I discuss something psychological or philosophical, or when someone tells me their dream, or when I see beyond what a client tells me to what is really going on ‘ these things pull me right into the moment.
Revelation! These are the signposts on the path to my destiny!
What an incredible realization. I was overwhelmed. How many years of searching, thinking, crying, worrying about this thing called destiny! Is it possible that I have finally solved it for myself?
Your personal take
So perhaps you have a similar dilemma ‘ that you don’t know what your destiny is. Maybe this technique could help you realize where your destiny lies.
Think about what activities you do that pulls you out of your head and into the moment. Anything that you do that fully engages you. This could be the key to unlocking the path to your destiny. And it doesn’t have to be moving mountains. Your destiny is what defines you as being different to others. It is what makes you unique.
Your destiny is the true, authentic you that is waiting to be awakened.
Until next time
Anja
The 3rd Critical Step to Becoming a Human Being
In one sense, at least, life is quite simple. At any point in time you are either busy being born or you are busy dying.
In the world today this is usually understood in a physical sense- our identification with our bodies is absolute. This is the reason for the obsession with youth and youthful appearance that frequently endures long past when such a ‘youthful appearance’ is appropriate or attractive.
The inescapable truth though is that nature is a bitch. That beauty of yesteryear, that glow of youth and vitality, that body which your lovers couldn’t wait to get their hands on…well either it is already waning, will in the not too distant future or hit south a good while ago. And, I guess, you know where you are on that continuum.
Now you can go to gym 7 days a week, drink a chlorophyll shake for breakfast every morning and eat protein bars for lunch and supper. You can sleep early every night, not smoke or drink, take enough vitamin pills to sustain small village in Africa, and guess what…
Yip, you got it, you are still going to get old and not too long after that you’re going to die.
I’m seriously sorry to put it so bluntly, I know it not very nice to think about, especially death, that is usually referred to as ‘passing on’. Where the hell do you think you’re passing on to? The crematorium perhaps, the graveyard, well whichever it is trust me it doesn’t make a hell of a lot of difference. The point is you’ll be dead as the proverbial doornail-don’t let anyone tell you different. Or to put it more poetically,
Come with old Khayyam and leave the wise to talk,
Only one thing is true and the rest is lies,
The rose that once has blown forever dies.
From The Rubaiyat, by Omar Khayyam, try not to depart this mortal coil without having read it.
So where does that leave us you ask?
Well my friend despite this inescapable truth it is still possible to keep being born until death, and perhaps even beyond. But let us start our discussion from a point of honesty. Let us tear from our eyes the veil of illusion cast over them by Men’s Health and Cosmopolitan.
Let us burn the Longevity and Marie Claire magazines as a revolutionary act in service of truth.
Then, and only then, can our conversation begin in earnest.
3 stages towards growing up, becoming or individuating
Step 1: physiological maturity, instinctive consciousness, childlike being in the world.
Step 2: intellectual and emotional maturity, cultural consciousness, being an adult in the world.
Step 3: spiritual maturity, psychological consciousness, individuating in the world.
The third step
In this post we are concerned with this third step. If you would like to read more about the second step, becoming and adult, I highly recommend the book Soul Violence, by Wolfgang Giegerich, as a good starting point.
It is in taking this third step that immortality becomes possible. It is the impulse in all of us to take this step that is perverted in the obsession with eternal physical youth. We are not only physical beings. We have the ability to transcend ourselves, our physicality and our mortality. These are the given conditions, but within these we have the possibility of greatness, of grace and of becoming truly human.
Beyond the second step of growing up and putting the child behind you, is another critical step on the journey to individuation. This is the act of discovering your spiritual impulse, your raison d”tre, the reason you were born.
Discovering and living this impulse, bringing it to the world, is what in the final analysis justifies your very existence.
Through this act you bestow a grace upon us; you bring a small piece of heaven down to earth. In being your authentic self, in the world, we can forgive you your indiscretions, your human frailty, your consumption of our planets precious resources.
Not to reach this stage however means you are still-born.
This may not be your fault, circumstances undoubtedly play a huge role. Not everyone gets to grow up and even those that do are not given equal opportunity for self realisation. The idea of equality must be understood as something we aspire to, not something that has ever been realised.
Furthermore the absolute unadulterated rubbish that is suggested by the new age movement and positive thinking in the form of movies like The Secret and What the bleep do we know, should not be taken seriously. These are popcorn for the brain and anaesthesia for the soul, aimed strictly at the disenchanted western Bourgeois; for God’s sake don’t confuse them for reality.
With this qualification in place however if you do have the possibility of taking the next step towards becoming your destiny then take it. Not to take it is a great tragedy, a waste of a life. You should not think of your life as belonging solely to you- this is narcissistic and childish. Your life belongs to us, your community, your country, to your culture, to those who love you and even to those who don’t.
Your life is a gift, but the right to call yourself a human being you’re going to have to earn.
Still, make no mistake, you have been given a precious gift, it is the most precious gift imaginable- show some gratitude. And in no better way can you give thanks for this gift than becoming who you were born to be.
4 questions to consider towards realising your destiny
At the very least, just consider the possibility that you have a destiny, that you were born for a purpose, that your life means something, something beyond the obvious, something special and unique.
If this possibility seems even remotely possible then consider the following four questions:
- What could this destiny be?
- What would you need to put down (discard, leave behind) in order to realise this possibility?
- What would you need to take up (assume, own, step forward and be)?
- How would your overall frame need to change: friends, job, pastimes, lovers, passions, attitudes, beliefs, knowledge etc?
If you found this post worthwhile two others you may want to look at are:
http://www.inpursuitofmeaning.com/practically/becoming
http://www.inpursuitofmeaning.com/philosophically/the-painful-experience-of-free-will
Finally I leave you with a quote from Kierkegaard
There is nothing of which every man is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing and becoming.
Until we meet again,
Stephen.
Eric the Vampire Viking: Man or Mouse?
Ok, I confess! Stephen and I love True Blood. (it is very psychological, OK!!!) We are currently watching Season 4; and oh what a disappointment!
Eric, Vampire, Viking….. hot, hot, HOT! Or rather he used to be… .
For those of you unfamiliar with ‘True Blood’ and the various characters, let me explain. Eric is over 1000 years old. He is a Viking made Vampire and he is BAD! Hot but BAD! And if your thing is bad boys, he is it.
But in the latest season, something happens and he loses his memory. All of a sudden, he is a wimp!
I am so over him now …
How incredible is it that this character that we have been watching for 3 Seasons and who has been so convincing, has completely turned around. The actor is obviously very skilled. Not only the actor, but his makeup, wardrobe, everything works together to project a completely different persona. And this is what I want to discuss in this blog ‘ the persona.
What is the Persona
The thing about Eric is that he used to walk with a certain swagger; a look in his eye, his hair was done a certain way, etc. Now all of a sudden he walks differently, his hair is boyish and that look in his eye has changed.
Slight differences, huge impact.
Another great example is in Beyonc’s video ‘If I were a boy’. The male actor in it is originally the ‘good guy’, but then turns into the ‘bad guy’. The video is 4 minutes long and when he turns bad, it is probably 1 minute of footage, but it is incredible! You don’t actually realise what he is doing differently, but your perception of him changes completely.
Hats off to all actors!
Just think about the TV shows ‘How do I look’ and ‘What not to wear’. Anyone who has ever watched any of these, realises that way you dress impacts on how people perceive you. We had lunch with friends who told us that they had been watching a show about ‘blind’ dating. The couple meet each other in pitch black darkness. They may get on like a house on fire, but once the lights go on, if they don’t like the look of the other person, they will not go on a date with them. This is the power of image and persona.
Persona is the archetype of the image you want to convey. It is the way you package yourself to the world outside.
It is the mask you wear.
Not everyone gets this right. Some people’s persona’s are a huge fail. I am sure you have a few of those in your personal circle of friends! Just think of some of the profile pictures on Facebook for example.
Why have a persona?
The persona is an essential tool that we require to interact on a social level. It is not really for you. It is for others. It allows others to place you appropriately. It is not just the clothes you wear, or outer appearance, it is your attitude, what you talk about ‘ it really is how people perceive you.
It is a real skill to develop an effective and appropriate persona.
If you think of people in the entertainment industry, you get a good idea of how the persona operates.
Lady Gaga and the huge effort she puts into developing and maintaining her persona. Politicians; in South Africa a good example of really well developed persona is Julius Malema. He knows his audience and acts accordingly. Barack Obama’s persona is almost too good to be true. What about Mandela’s persona?
I know someone who has an incredibly well developed persona. He is very successful; financially well off, well groomed, driven, passionate, etc. But I still don’t know exactly what he does! Whenever I try and ask leading questions to try to find out, he talks so much and is so smooth that he baffles me. All I know is that it is in finance, bit of training, lots of innovation, he is in the know. This is the power of an effective persona. You buy into the person, before you have any actual experience of their proficiency.
To understand your own persona better, you can ask yourself a few questions:
‘ Is your professional persona and your social persona the same or different?
‘ Do you have different persona’s for different people?
‘ Do you adapt your persona to different social situations?
‘ Did you make a conscious decision to construct your persona, or did it happen spontaneously?
‘ If you had to change your persona, what would you add or take away?
If you want to succeed at what you do, you need to develop your persona to reflect that which you want to be recognised for.
The problem with the persona
Usually you develop your persona when you enter the ‘real’ world so to speak. When you embark on your career, you soon realise that people in your industry dress a certain way, speak a certain way, have similar belief systems, etc. You then (consciously or unconsciously) base your persona on all of this.
But how long are you going to keep that persona for? When is it due for an upgrade?
We don’t realise that the persona is a mask that can be changed or swopped or broken.
The real problem is when you identify with your Persona.
You become the mask you wear.
This is a trap which is very difficult to escape from.
For purposes of an example, I would suggest a doctor. He is a doctor, he identifies with this and that is what he is. His friends, family, everyone relates to him as the doctor. But that is not who he is. The doctor is his persona.
Once he was a young man named Derrick, who became a doctor. Now he is just the doctor. Derrick has been forgotten, repressed, put aside.
You can probably immediately think of a few people that you know who have identified with their persona.
There is nothing else there.
They are that persona at work, home, with friends, even when they are alone.
This can cause big problems. The ‘real’ repressed person, shut down behind the mask, starts wreaking havoc. We all know of a public persona who suddenly behaves in a very inappropriate way ‘ get caught with their pants down so to speak. This is typical of the revenge of the repressed individual. Some crises will present itself in order to balance the personality of the individual. This crisis often causes the proverbial ‘midlife’ crises, which is an unconscious attempt of the individual to reconnect with their authentic selves. Unfortunately, because it is unconscious, it often does not result in a successful outcome.
The ultimate goal for the Jungian is to develop a consciously constructed and effective persona to act as a bridge between their authentic inner being and the outer world.
So the question is this:
Does your persona work you?
Until next time
Anja
Unfortunately…it seems We Will Have to Kill the Child
I don’t know about you, but I truly love children. Of course I love my own children, but beyond them I love children generally. Children possess a humanity which is absent in most adults. They know how to love, how to laugh, how to cry, and perhaps most importantly how to play. What is life, after all, if we’re not at play.
Sometimes I encounter kids who seem like little adults, embedded in reality; or as Freud would put it, living according to the reality principle. At a young age they already seem to have lost touch with the realm of magic and of play. But that is quite rare, most kids still have this gift, at least until their teens.
Then beyond the physical child, as much as I detest clich’s, I admit I care deeply about my own ‘inner child’.
Let me explain… (And please stay with me here )
I truly loved my father and he loved me. He loved a child called Stephen, and as anyone who is a parent knows this is a deep and un-abiding love.
For me, in turn, my dad was the whole world. It was as though he contained the world rather than it him. God knows he wasn’t perfect, but it was his very imperfections which made him so luminous, so real. He came to represent for me what it meant to be a human being.
He was a beacon of sanity in the sea of life by which I could find my way.
I lost him about nine years ago, and it was really tough to see him go….
But once he died, I consciously internalised his love. My love for him, and the respect I held him in, meant I had a responsibility, to him, to truly love myself as he had loved me. In doing this, I became, so to speak, my own father. So I can say I am now both father and child to myself, and in so far as I am father, my internal image is moulded on my real father who deeply loved his child Stephen.
And in loving Stephen the child I swore an oath of allegiance to him, not to forget his hopes, dreams, and desires. And never to lose touch with the sense of adventure and play.
By now you may be wondering about the title of this post, well you see this is where things become a little unpleasant….
WHO IS UP FOR SOME INFANTCIDE?
The most exciting Jungian thinker alive today, for my money anyway, is Wolfgang Giegerich. I had the unequalled honour of meeting him recently. I am currently reading the third in his series of collected English papers Soul Violence.
Giegerich makes the point that the Jungian project is a twofold endeavour. The apprentice piece is the shadow work, and the master piece is the work on the anima/animus ‘ the souls own other. These are, in Jungian terms, the foundation of psychology and psychological thinking.
However before we can enter the realm of psychology proper, or at least psychological consciousness, we need to kill the child. Whilst a childlike conscious is present in the psyche the adult remains unborn and the realm of psychology remains out of reach.
Now you may be thinking this is a little melodramatic. After all can we not rather say let’s integrate the child- rather than ‘kill’ him or her?
Well frankly no, not according to Giegerich anyway. You see it is the death of the child that fertilises the birth of the adult. We need a clean cut, a real break with the past.
We cannot allow yesterday (and yesterday’s dreams) to dictate today.
One of the great losses of modernity, particularly post-modernity, is the loss of rituals which demarked the two distinct domains child and adult. Rituals which were designed to bring an end to the enchanted state of childhood and prepare the initiate for entry into the secrets, protocols, and responsibilities of being an adult. There loss sees the child grow older in years but not take the significant step into a new paradigm, anew and adult way of encountering the world. The recent rioting and ongoing issues with youth discipline in the UK are, at least in part, a symptom of this failure in modernity.
FOUR INDICATORS OF THE CHILD ARCHETYPE
Giegerich provides four broad ways in which we can identify the way of being on the world of the child archetype. Go through this list and consider if any of these describe you or are present in your life.
1. Innocence, protectedness, babe-in-the-woods, unwoundedness, harmlessness.
The idea here is that whilst living in the garden of Eden we remain children in way of being if not our age; prior to suffering the inevitable wounds of adulthood, and encountering evil in the world and in ourselves. It is only once we leave home, and lose our status as little princes or princesses, encounter the limitations of the world and in ourselves that we can grow up.
2. Selfishness, self-centeredness, narcissism.
This I think is self explanatory, narcissism in a youth is appropriate and appealing but not in an adult, adulthood entails transcending our ego centred consciousness.
3. Living a life based on desire rather than duty, a life as yet untouched by responsibility.
Responsibility in this sense can be responsibility to others, to a position of trust, to a set of principles by which you live your life. But it is something beyond the pleasure principle, it is the way you define yourself in the world. A life which is not lived in service of a principle of some kind remains still born, the self can only be said to emerge when we stand for something and live our lives in service of that which we stand for.
4. Embedded in meaning, the uroboric state.
Living in a myth which is not of your own creation, the perception of objective meaning, the idea common to childhood and youth of knowing the meaning and purpose of existence, be it based of religion, politics, or culture. Only the rude eviction from this state of grace allows genuine adult consciousness to emerge.
It is only once the initial myth has been cracked, allowing you to see through the veil of illusion that the journey to real meaning and discovering your personal myth can begin.
Once we grow up, and leave the child behind, we are ready to cross the threshold into psychological consciousness. As our bodies and minds evolve so too should our spirits. The spirit of the child is ready for childlike things, but for you and I to take the next step in our spiritual evolution we need to temper our spirit in the fire of true adult consciousness.
I leave you with a quote from The Wonder Years
Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what’s to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn’t have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves… for growing up.
Have you completed the transition from childhood to adulthood?
Do you believe this is an essential step in your personal evolution?
Until we meet again,
Stephen